Roller Coaster

(Let me preface this entry by saying that I apologize to my husband for hijacking “our” blog that he created for our family and for filling it up with my deep thoughts and stories….with that said, here comes another “Deep Thought by Annie Singletary” with more to follow, I am sure.)

When I was 12 years old I was terrified of roller coasters. Although I was intrigued by these “scary rides” I just couldn’t wrap my head around how anyone could enjoy their speed and force. At the same time however, I was jealous of the kids without fear, the ones who squeaked and squealed with anticipation while waiting in line for a coaster.

Then one day I had had enough of my fear. That day I challenged myself to just do it, just go on one roller coaster and see if I made it back alive. I was sick of being afraid and although it might very well take my life, or so I felt, I had to at least try.

I am sure I was shaking the entire wait in line and once I actually made it to the front I can remember the rush of terror that came over me when I was finally strapped in…..no turning back now. The worst part was the build up at the beginning, that ticking noise that the coaster makes as you slowly climb the first hill. Tick, tick, tick. Then before I knew it I was flying past trees, gliding over a pond and twirling out of control. I both loved and hated this ride.

Once the ride came to a stop I jumped out of my seat, body buzzing and my mind running wild. I couldn’t believe I was alive and the strange thing was that I actually kind of liked it. Quickly however, before I let on that I was so thrilled, I took my 12 year old “I’m too cool to act excited” pose and shoved my hands in my pockets before anyone could notice that they were still shaking.

Inside one of my pockets I felt an unfamiliar cardboard disk that I couldn’t identify with touch alone. My curiosity grew so I pulled the disk out and remembered what it was, it was a POG.

For those of you who don’t remember POGs, they were strange cardboard disks with pictures on them that for some reason kids collected for a time. I was not one of those kids but instead had found this POG in a box of candy that I bought earlier that day and then shoved in my pocket because a trashcan was not handy.

In that moment I had an epiphany. I was convinced that it was a magic POG and it was because of this lucky charm that I had made it through the ride. Without it I would have perished. A little melodramatic, I know, but such is life when you are a 12 year old girl….or at least when you are a 12 year old Annie.

Anyhow, I was thinking about this POG the other day and remembering that from that day on I always made sure to have my “magic POG” with me when I went to an amusement park….and I’m talking for MANY years after this event. Eventually I grew up and lost the “magic POG” but for a time that POG was the only thing that I felt could protect me from death on a roller coaster. I needed it to survive.

Today I don’t believe in lucky charms anymore and it makes me sad that as a little girl I didn’t know the Lord well enough to trust in Him but instead I put my trust in a cardboard disk pulled out of a box of candy. Today I know that it is Jesus who gets me through the good and the bad and that in the end God works ALL things for good. I wish I could go back in time and talk to that little girl and let her know that the cardboard disk she held onto so tightly was just a piece of cardboard and not the truth. I wish I could go back and tell her that Jesus died for her, rose from death for her and is in heaven alive and well, watching over her. I wish I could tell her that she needs Him to survive, not a thing. Things are impermanent, things break or get lost and in the end no thing can give you peace or true joy.

I pray that Ryan and I will be able to teach our baby boy not to love things or rely on them as a savior but instead to trust in the Lord and turn his heart to Jesus for comfort, peace and the only true joy I have ever known.