Baby

James is asleep and I am anxiously awaiting our doctor's appt this morning where we get to see our new little miracle on screen and hopefully find out if we have another sweet boy on our hands or a little beauty of a girl.

It's quiet in our house, Ryan is off at work and all I can hear is a bird outside my window and the subtle humming of my computer. Everything is very still, sort of like in a movie when you know something really big is about to happen but for the moment the screen is silent and the scene is still. That's how I feel. Something really big is about to happen, we're about to meet our newest child, our newest gift from the Lord, but in this moment just stillness.

I know I am pregnant, I can look down and see my growing belly and feel the slight aches and pains that come with my changing form but it dawned on me yesterday at church that I still don't really believe it. I can't really comprehend that our little three person family is going to look different in just a few months. I am overjoyed of course, in fact every time I see a baby now I feel warm inside knowing I will have another one soon, but a piece of me doesn't fully understand.

Also, if I am totally honest, a tiny part of me is a little bit sad...but just a tiny part. James has been my sidekick for the past 15 months and we have become pretty used to our routine and our dynamic, and that's all about to change. Although I couldn't imagine James being an only child, nor would I want to only have one child, I am a little sad that our alone time is about to end.

But, as with everything in life, things have to change and really what a wonderful change, right?! A new baby, boy or girl, is an amazing gift. I can already see the excitement in Ryan's eyes when we talk about holding our newest little one (he loves babies) and remember how precious it was to hold and cuddle James at that age. I also can't wait to see James as a big brother and watch our family grow and change. We are all going to learn a lot from this new baby and I can't wait to see what that looks like.

So, I praise Jesus for our new little one and anxiously await his or her arrival into our lives. I'll try to post this afternoon as well to let you all know what kind of baby we have this time around but I'm putting my money on another sweet boy.