Now for the hard part.....

The past week has been a very different week from any other we've had since James was born. James was getting over a cold and in the process developed two ear infections. After a trip to the doctor and one more to the pharmacy we are on the road to recover; but beyond the illness something has changed in our little man.

Recently James has started to get angry when he doesn't get his way. Just today he threw at least four tantrums, one of which involved him rolling around on the ground and crying into the carpet. All because I wouldn't let him touch my computer.

I realize that some of his behavior might still have to do with him not feeling great, and that's what I'm praying for honestly, but even so we are embarking on a new season. James is going to be a kid soon, not a baby, but a boy. A boy who has opinions and feelings, not to mention a very strong will, and very little language to express himself.

Up to this point I have felt like Ryan and I have been more like babysitters to James. We have been in charge of making sure he stays alive, fed well and of course loved, but not so much reared. Now however, things have changed. Now we have to lay the hammer down and discipline our little man, or else suffer the consequences and end up with a bratty child who respects no one. Now we have to actually be parents.

To tell you the honest truth, I am a little scared. On more than one occasion recently I have seen a side of my son that I really haven't liked. I am keenly aware that we are all sinners by nature (James included), but now I am actually seeing that in my boy and it's troubling. Our baby is turning into a boy and although there are so many things about this that I love (see my previous post) I am also just now realizing that the honeymoon is over and the real work has begun.

So here we go, onto the hard part.......which will only last for oh....the rest of my life.