Mom Worries

I think I am officially a mom and with that title has come all the mom worries that go along with the job.

Lately our little man has been pretty active most of the time but he is especially squirmy when I sit down or when I lie down to go to sleep. It is in these quiet times that I am reminded there is a little life inside of me and I am comforted to know that he is still growing strong.

This Saturday however our little guy was pretty quiet for most of the day so when I climbed into bed I assumed he would wake up and start doing a jig but instead I felt nothing. I pushed on my stomach a bit, trying to wake him, and still nothing.

Although I was pretty sure he was fine I couldn’t help but feel slightly terrified that something was wrong. I waited a little longer and felt tiny movements but nothing compared to what I had been feeling earlier in the week. Ryan had already fallen asleep so there I lay, wide awake and filled with fear that something was wrong with my son….My son, who I have come to love more than I thought I could at this stage.

So I did what I always do in times of uncertainty, I prayed. "Heavenly Father please help our son to continue to grow healthy and strong....and make him move please." The night pressed on and I continued to feel little movements that did offer some solace but I wanted a good hard kick and that just wasn't happening.

The next morning I talked to Ryan about my concern and asked him to pray as well, which he did out loud in the car as we drove to church.

At church I felt a flutter here and there but I was still on edge until a few minutes into the sermon when I got a series of good strong blows. Immediately tears filled my eyes and joy washed over my body. Thank you Jesus! I leaned over to Ryan to tell him the good news and a look of relief appeared on his face as he touched my belly.

I am sure that being just 25 weeks along I probably over reacted a bit (ok, maybe a lot) to the absence of strong kicks but I am glad that I had this experience. This weekend I felt a love for my child that I have never felt before and a fear that I have never known. I have come to realize just how in love I am with this small baby and that I would do anything for him.

This also makes me appreciate even more how our Heavenly Father loved us all so much that He sent His only son to live a humble life on earth and die on a cross for us and our sins. As a mother of my own little boy I am not sure I could have done what He did but I am forever thankful to Him and to Jesus who died for me and for you.